So today we will go over the delightful oh so "funny when you are writing about it" and "not so funny when you are feeling it" pros and cons of pregnancy...
Pro- You can eat whatever you want
Con- Your digestive system slows everything down to get the nutrients to the baby. TRANSLATION: you won't be able to poop for 9 months. So eat whatever you want. CAREFULLY.
Pro- Once you actually get a baby bump going, people start helping you at work
Con- That you HAVE to work 40 hours a week when you would rather beat a dead horse with a stick
Pro- Having that sweet little baby tickle your belly
Con- Having that little monster kick the crap out of your ribs!
Pro- Your hair and nails grow at rapid pace for whatever reason all throughout pregnancy
Con- You can't do a damned thing with your hair without getting an earful from "knowledgeable" other beings about what a bad parent you are....and the nail thing is awesome, however I only have so much to be anxious about and I just cannot keep up with biting them off fast enough.
Pro- You get to wear as many comfy pajama-maternity pants as you want. Or at least I do.
Con- You feel as big as a freaking house when your 'maternity' sophisticated pajama pants are getting a little tight around the waist...and butt....oh and did I mention they're short enough to be floods now??
Pro- Sometimes you get random bursts of energy and feel that you are on top of the world and can do anything.
Con- My random bursts usually come when I am really angry and world, WATCH OUT. I pity the fool that crosses me.
Pro- Every single new thing is so special that it makes you want to cry
Con- Every time you share that new thing it is followed with a bunch of smart-asses saying, 'you didn't feel the baby move it's too early!' REALLY??? Because as far as I am concerned my BABY BIBLE BOOK said that i CAN feel it move right now and last time I checked you were pregnant what, 15 years ago?? OR even worse, you've never BEEN pregnant to begin with and you're telling me that I AM the crazy one? Don't let these people ruin your moments. I've obviously already fallen off of that bandwagon, but you can save yourself.
Pro- I love rubbing my big old belly now
Con- Don't rub my big old belly if I don't know you that well. I never thought that would bother me, I thought I could put it out there for the world to rub...but if you are not my friend or family, hands off.
Pro- Feeling like I'm so strong that I can still lift my chunky-monkey one and a half year old niece
Con- Realizing this ain't so fun when she drops her binky and i lean over with her in my left arm to grab it off the floor with my right arm and realize my belly is in the way and i can't bend and OH MY GOSH LILA IS FALLING....don't worry, she didn't fall to the ground...just to my knee.
Pro- You're so tired you cannot wait for night time to go to sleep
Con- Between the every 35 minute pee-breaks, the maneuvering of the pillows to avert back-pain to the "perfect" position after every pee break and the CRAZY ass dreams you have, oh and the terrible back pain because your boobs and stomach and triple their regular size and everything is hanging out in the front, you won't get any sleep. And just when you think it's all over, you have a screaming baby to feed. Just say goodbye to a good night's sleep for the next 18 years. I'm almost to terms with it.
Pro- Baby shoes are the cutest thing EVER
Con- Adult shoes that now fit like baby shoes because for whatever reason your feet grow during pregnancy is not so cute. or comfortable. or fun.
Pro- Washing all of your cute adorable baby clothes for the first time and anticipating taking all of that cute little stuff out of the dryer...
Con- Oh that cute little stuff is so.....much.....smaller....oh my gosh everything has shrunk that I just bought from the store. and the damn dryer already ate 2 different halves of 2 different pairs of socks. (That dryer eating socks thing should be one of the world's greatest mysteries by the way. It just amazes me).
Pro- I have enough nieces and nephews to know what every single one of their cries and whines sound like, and they don't bother me at all so I am hopeful with my child I'll be the same
Con- Oh dear lord if it is a child I don't know and they are shrieking I want to rip my skin off. Now I would like to point out, this does not mean that I am a bad mommy. This means that I have selective hearing and I can handle my nieces and nephews. Please don't find a crying baby and think it's funny to have my listen to it for "practice". I'll kick you if it's not from my family.
Pro- I never thought I could be as honest and sassy and bitchy as I am right now, it's quite elating at times.
Con- Oh dear lord you find out who your true friends are. Mindy, Ruth, and Chris I'm glad you laugh at my inner pregnant bitch and find this stuff funny with me.
Pro- My boobs are HUGE!
Con- So is my BUTT!
Now to abruptly and awkwardly end this, I just got really really really tired. So I'm going to bed. Toodles!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Random Thoughts
So I've decided to start this blog because I think that there are so many crazy things to pregnancy that are never talked about and that I personally have never recorded or written down, and I want to have a place to write my thoughts and a place to save all of the weird/funny/sad/outrageous/wonderful things that are happening to me.
So let's begin with yesterday...within the past 2 weeks the baby went from moving or fluttering about maybe 2-3 times a day, to moving the entire day and night. Yesterday when I was driving to work was the last time that I felt the baby move, and I worked 10 hours then came home, and was trying to push on him to get him to move and he just wouldn't. So I had bought one of those "hear the heartbeat at home!" devices (which don't work by the way), but it let's you hear the baby kicking and moving. So I placed that on my belly to see if I could hear him...only to be surprised that he started kicking the crap out of the device, and I could even feel it on the outside of my belly! I had awoken the beast! and right before I wanted to go to sleep! My mom said that it was fine that I did that now, but that if I ever wake him up when he is here in person and sleeping that she will refuse to help me:)
It's funny to me how different the kicks feel. Some feel like he is literally tumbling about, others are a sharp jabbing pain, and others feel like he is tickling me, and it makes me laugh really hard because it feels like it does when someone is tickling your feet.
I've been watching a lot of baby stories on TLC, which I would recommend against doing should you get pregnant, because you will cry every. single. time. that baby is born. NO JOKE. There, you have been warned. Today the one I watched the woman decided to have a natural birth....watching that scares the crap out of me....I go back and forth between whether or not I'll be able to handle the pain, and sometimes I think I can, but other times I look at women like this and just think that they are downright crazy. out of their minds crazy. Like I read in my motherhood magazine, it's not how you have the baby that is the point, it's a safe healthy baby at the end that is the point. And then I have my dad and mom just telling me to take the drugs, why try and show off when you don't need to feel the pain?
My sister Lisa is 3 weeks ahead of me, and pregnant with her 5th child (yes 5!!)....she makes childbirth look easy, so given that she is my sister I am hoping that I will be blessed with that same talent;) Now the interesting thing is, should all of the stars in the universe align themselves correctly, Lisa and I could have our babies on the same day (that is if she is late and I am early)...now for her last child, I guessed the sex, date of birth, inches, and weight all correctly (ok I was 2 ounces off on the weight but everything else was exact!)...so if my intuition is right we will go into labor at the same time!
Ok one gripe about the whole pregnancy time-line thing. It is ridiculous to say that pregnancy takes 9 months when every 2-3 months they add about 1-2 weeks to each month. For instance, my5th month of pregnancy was from weeks 18-22. So naturally, one would think that month 6 is weeks 22-26....but nonono...the6th month is 22-28 weeks. A bit ridiculous and confusing???? I think so! And I do not like saying I am 5 months pregnant for an entire month and a half when I already have people asking me if I am 6 months along! So I have an extra 2 week timespan to just say, NO, I'M FAT BUT THANKS FOR ASKING!!
Oh now about all of that wonderful weight gain. Interesting thing is, for the first 3 months I could not put on any weight...I couldn't eat because everything tasted like paper to me, and I was pretty small for a while there...then the 4th month came, and WOWZERS i have never been that hungry before in my life! 17 pounds later (and at 5 and a half months along) I am surrendering my body to this thing called pregnancy and just praying weight watchers is good to me after I have my little man. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gigorgungeous or anything but feeling bigger so quickly is pretty uncomfortable...the only solice i have is that i have a durable hard stomach that is round with baby and not with belly:) now my butt is a different story haha...
Working during pregnancy has been quite the double-edged sword. I know it's good for me because I am moving a ton and I don't have a choice to just not doing anything and this alone has made me not so gigorgungeous....but at the same time, I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE working sometimes. I think it's just because I am super emotional and sensitive and just cannot handle half of the crap that goes along with working in a restaurant. I want to strangle people left and right, and dreaming of sitting down for 30 seconds, sitting, and having to get up again 7.5 seconds later kind of makes me want to scream as well. Now now now, let's talk about these weird little things called Braxton-Hicks contractions (this has to do with work I promise). For about the past month, I kept having these weird pains where I literally thought that the babe was bunching up into a little ball right below my belly button and putting tons of pressure and pain on me, and then spreading out again....it happened so consistently that i added it to my list of questions to ask my doctor...and I ALMOST didn't ask it because I thought it was really stupid...turns out I'm having contractions! And let me tell you, it was a lot like finding out you have MONO, you look back and think, what an idiot I am, it ALL makes perfect sense now! So I go home and look them up online to find out information about them. Turns out you have them the most when you are A) working or moving around a lot B) the baby is moving a lot C) you have to pee D) you are dehydrated. Now, funny thing is, ALL OF THESE THINGS happen to me ALL THE TIME while I am working. I don't think I have ever drank more than an entire 24 pack of bottled water over the course of my entire life, so needless to say i didn't start my recommended 8 glasses a day that I am supposed to be doing the second I found out I was pregnant....I have a bladder the size of an almond, and CONSTANTLY have to pee and working in a restaurant you just can't go whenever you want because you have to take off 20 layers of clothing...I am constantly moving, carrying things, and walking while at work, and I have a soccer player in my belly practicing for the big game all of the time. All of these fun little things put together led to contractions 8 minutes apart for over 2 hours this past Friday night while working. And hey, I even got to practice a little lamaze breathing because yes, I had to breathe through a few of them....kind of makes me want to just sit and get fat and not have any money for the rest of my pregnancy.
Oh goodness, I have so many ridiculous things to say but my hands hurt from typing considering I never type anymore, so I will add more later! Until then, my little man and I are going to work for the rest of the night at the lovely Buca di Beppo...hopefully his daddy is going to feed us lots of food when we get there:)
So let's begin with yesterday...within the past 2 weeks the baby went from moving or fluttering about maybe 2-3 times a day, to moving the entire day and night. Yesterday when I was driving to work was the last time that I felt the baby move, and I worked 10 hours then came home, and was trying to push on him to get him to move and he just wouldn't. So I had bought one of those "hear the heartbeat at home!" devices (which don't work by the way), but it let's you hear the baby kicking and moving. So I placed that on my belly to see if I could hear him...only to be surprised that he started kicking the crap out of the device, and I could even feel it on the outside of my belly! I had awoken the beast! and right before I wanted to go to sleep! My mom said that it was fine that I did that now, but that if I ever wake him up when he is here in person and sleeping that she will refuse to help me:)
It's funny to me how different the kicks feel. Some feel like he is literally tumbling about, others are a sharp jabbing pain, and others feel like he is tickling me, and it makes me laugh really hard because it feels like it does when someone is tickling your feet.
I've been watching a lot of baby stories on TLC, which I would recommend against doing should you get pregnant, because you will cry every. single. time. that baby is born. NO JOKE. There, you have been warned. Today the one I watched the woman decided to have a natural birth....watching that scares the crap out of me....I go back and forth between whether or not I'll be able to handle the pain, and sometimes I think I can, but other times I look at women like this and just think that they are downright crazy. out of their minds crazy. Like I read in my motherhood magazine, it's not how you have the baby that is the point, it's a safe healthy baby at the end that is the point. And then I have my dad and mom just telling me to take the drugs, why try and show off when you don't need to feel the pain?
My sister Lisa is 3 weeks ahead of me, and pregnant with her 5th child (yes 5!!)....she makes childbirth look easy, so given that she is my sister I am hoping that I will be blessed with that same talent;) Now the interesting thing is, should all of the stars in the universe align themselves correctly, Lisa and I could have our babies on the same day (that is if she is late and I am early)...now for her last child, I guessed the sex, date of birth, inches, and weight all correctly (ok I was 2 ounces off on the weight but everything else was exact!)...so if my intuition is right we will go into labor at the same time!
Ok one gripe about the whole pregnancy time-line thing. It is ridiculous to say that pregnancy takes 9 months when every 2-3 months they add about 1-2 weeks to each month. For instance, my5th month of pregnancy was from weeks 18-22. So naturally, one would think that month 6 is weeks 22-26....but nonono...the6th month is 22-28 weeks. A bit ridiculous and confusing???? I think so! And I do not like saying I am 5 months pregnant for an entire month and a half when I already have people asking me if I am 6 months along! So I have an extra 2 week timespan to just say, NO, I'M FAT BUT THANKS FOR ASKING!!
Oh now about all of that wonderful weight gain. Interesting thing is, for the first 3 months I could not put on any weight...I couldn't eat because everything tasted like paper to me, and I was pretty small for a while there...then the 4th month came, and WOWZERS i have never been that hungry before in my life! 17 pounds later (and at 5 and a half months along) I am surrendering my body to this thing called pregnancy and just praying weight watchers is good to me after I have my little man. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gigorgungeous or anything but feeling bigger so quickly is pretty uncomfortable...the only solice i have is that i have a durable hard stomach that is round with baby and not with belly:) now my butt is a different story haha...
Working during pregnancy has been quite the double-edged sword. I know it's good for me because I am moving a ton and I don't have a choice to just not doing anything and this alone has made me not so gigorgungeous....but at the same time, I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE working sometimes. I think it's just because I am super emotional and sensitive and just cannot handle half of the crap that goes along with working in a restaurant. I want to strangle people left and right, and dreaming of sitting down for 30 seconds, sitting, and having to get up again 7.5 seconds later kind of makes me want to scream as well. Now now now, let's talk about these weird little things called Braxton-Hicks contractions (this has to do with work I promise). For about the past month, I kept having these weird pains where I literally thought that the babe was bunching up into a little ball right below my belly button and putting tons of pressure and pain on me, and then spreading out again....it happened so consistently that i added it to my list of questions to ask my doctor...and I ALMOST didn't ask it because I thought it was really stupid...turns out I'm having contractions! And let me tell you, it was a lot like finding out you have MONO, you look back and think, what an idiot I am, it ALL makes perfect sense now! So I go home and look them up online to find out information about them. Turns out you have them the most when you are A) working or moving around a lot B) the baby is moving a lot C) you have to pee D) you are dehydrated. Now, funny thing is, ALL OF THESE THINGS happen to me ALL THE TIME while I am working. I don't think I have ever drank more than an entire 24 pack of bottled water over the course of my entire life, so needless to say i didn't start my recommended 8 glasses a day that I am supposed to be doing the second I found out I was pregnant....I have a bladder the size of an almond, and CONSTANTLY have to pee and working in a restaurant you just can't go whenever you want because you have to take off 20 layers of clothing...I am constantly moving, carrying things, and walking while at work, and I have a soccer player in my belly practicing for the big game all of the time. All of these fun little things put together led to contractions 8 minutes apart for over 2 hours this past Friday night while working. And hey, I even got to practice a little lamaze breathing because yes, I had to breathe through a few of them....kind of makes me want to just sit and get fat and not have any money for the rest of my pregnancy.
Oh goodness, I have so many ridiculous things to say but my hands hurt from typing considering I never type anymore, so I will add more later! Until then, my little man and I are going to work for the rest of the night at the lovely Buca di Beppo...hopefully his daddy is going to feed us lots of food when we get there:)
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